Child abuse and neglect continue to plague our community, but there are simple things anyone can do to help prevent abuse from happening in your family. First of all know and understand the stages you’re developing child will be going through and have patience with the process.

Ages & Stages

Infants generally don’t pose much of a discipline problem, but they can be a challenge because they are so dependent upon us. The most troublesome behavior is usually crying. Infants cry because they are wet, hungry, cold, or lonely. Crying is their only way of letting us know that they need something. Studies show that infants who have their needs met quickly, and who are held & comforted when they cry, develop a strong sense of security and well-being and actually may cry much less later on.

Like babies, Toddlers like to be held, talked to, and comforted. Their behavior can sometimes be frustrating. They reach out and grab things (like eyeglasses). They are rather clumsy and awkward with gestures. A well meant pat can feel like a whack to such a small frame. Toddlers are also possessive. “No” and “Mine” are favorite words, and they are quite willing to hit or bite to get or keep a favorite toy. As we know Toddlers are always on the go and often play until they “run out of gas”. Learning how to do things in a socially acceptable way is a big step for a toddler and we, as their caretakers, play a very big part in that process.

Preschoolers are learning about the world around them. They ask lots and lots of questions, and they love to imitate adults. They are learning to share and take turns (but don’t always want to). They also may try to shock you by using forbidden words. Getting attention is fun; being ignored is not. Sometimes ignoring your preschoolers is the right approach. Preschoolers like to make decisions for themselves. Making decisions helps them feel important. Making sure your preschooler understands that some decisions have consequences is part of a parent’s role. Protecting them and explaining wrong decisions in a loving way is our role as parents.

School-Agers seem so grown up, but their social skills are not yet well developed. It is also not uncommon for school-agers to argue and fight a great deal with friends. They need considerable help learning social skills like how to make friends, trust others, work in a team, and resolve conflicts. Children also need to be taught how to use good manners, like asking for help, and negotiating with others. Often they have to be reminded to carry out homework responsibilities or household chores. Learning self-discipline is an ongoing process that improves each year. They need adults to provide experiences that are challenging and yet achievable.